Saturday, June 20, 2009

Humpty Dumpty Had An Iron Heart


I wrote this when I discovered that I began to shut out from my heart, anyone who could hurt me.

Ever since I was a little girl I had been hurt by those closest to me. 

The pain grew to a crescendo just a few years ago. I lost my relationship with my mom and dad, and then my husband shut down on me for a time, I had no one to turn too. No one to comfort me. No one to encourage me. 

Funny thing about those situations are, that if I had asked for help, there would have been people who would have given it with joy.

But people hurting as bad as I was, end up putting up walls to protect them selves. The irony of that is they also keep out the one's who could help. We really are fragile. Our minds, our hearts... under the right amount of strain and we can break.

Humpty Dumpty seemed happy sitting on his wall. Humpty Dumpty lost hope and had a great fall. 

If it was simply the question we ask, do you love me, then the reply could be just as simple, Yes, I do. But, it is much deeper than accepting as true that someone says I love you. It is knowing the depth of loyalty, devotion and affection from one to the other. It is a matter of believing that someone can be trusted enough to let them in to know and hold precious the secrets that make you you. 

For the injured one there may be a few they have let in part way, but even that produces a panic that strikes in the pit of their stomach, leaving them with the sensation of something dreadful about to happen.
When that trust has been betrayed and damaged, the injured one proceeds as follows:

Picture if you can, my heart, not red and healthy, but one that is turning Rust as a film of iron grows to cover and protect. When the process is complete, the key slot will be the only access point. 

The key that will allow you into my heart, I will hide it. I will not allow anyone find it. Anything precious, my thoughts, feelings, trusts, anything that means something to me will not be available for you or anyone else to injure. I am locking you out of the deepest parts of who I am.

If you feel like Humpty Dumpty, don't give up. Oh, please don't give up. I want you to meet my absolute best, best friend, Jesus. I know you might have heard people say disgruntled things about Him, and it's given you questions, false notions and fears about Him. But, don't you think it's time to reach out?

Look at what He told me...

I promise in My word, and I am not a man that would lie, "I will not Condemn you".

Condemn: (by the Websters dictionary) to declare to be reprehensible, wrong, or evil usually after weighing evidence and without reservation.

I love you and created you to have a relationship with Me. I long for it. I desire it. I'm waiting for it!

God knew you would need to be reminded that He has always been and forever will be, with you...

He was with you when you were happy... 
When you were sad... 
When you did things good and not so good... 
He was with you when you struggled with your thoughts... 
And when you said things you regret... 
He was with you when your friends rejected you...
And when you were alone... He was with you...
He was with you when you ignored Him... 
And when you needed Him.... 
He has never, ever left you; and you haven't surprised Him one bit, with anything you have done or thought.
So, don't let the thoughts from the enemy convince you that you should be ashamed, embarrassed or fearful to talk freely with Him. The enemy wants nothing more, than to separate you from the never ending goodness God is to you. 

He LOVES you unconditionally and if you want to be, you are already forgiven, for all of it.


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